Divorce & Remarriage

Divorce is an individual decision that will affect your family for the rest of your lives. There are four phases of divorce: recognition, discussions, action, and post-dissolution. 

Recognition is when one spouse, or both, recognize and become aware of a serious problem. The spouses may start to feel dissatisfaction, and question their relationship.
Discussions are where one spouse or both, share their marital problems with one another. This gives them each the opportunity to redefine their relationship.
Action in when a lawyer is secured legally by one spouse to dissolve the marriage.
The last phase is post-dissolution, where both of the spouses accept the fact that the marriage has now ended.

When getting a divorce, there are six stations that occur. Emotional is loss of trust, respect, and affection for the other spouse. The legal part is where the court comes into play, and they bring an end to the marriage. The economic stage has never been easy, because there is the settlement of property. One spouse may feel he or she does not get all the belongings they wanted. With belongings come memories, and the loss of a certain item can be heart breaking. 

There are many reasons for divorce, and here are a few that are related to interpersonal factors. Couples may fight over everything causing conflict. The marriage may end because perhaps feelings and perspectives have changed. A lot of reasons come from complaints; alcohol/drugs, finances, emotional or physical abuse, lack of emotional support, lack of communication, and the number one cause of divorce is infidelity. The co-parental stage is when the parents decide who has custody, visitation rights, and continuing parental responsibilities. The community stage can be hard, because each partner, or just one, leaves their community of friends and relations entering into a new one. They may not be comfortable with the community anymore, because the community might take sides. The last stage is psychic, where the individuals accept the disruption of the relationship, and regain their sense of being an individual, instead of and intimate couple. Change brings feelings of loss and sadness to some degree. 

Divorce has effects on spouses, parents, and the children. For children, they may encounter eating problems and disorders, low self-esteem, physical and emotional health problems, fear about the future, loyalty conflicts, self-blame, and even anger. Divorce tends to be harder on males. When we think about it, in most divorces, children go live with the mother because she is the nurturer. Boys need a male role model in the home, specifically a father. 

The culture we grew up in plays a role into our marriages as well. If parents divorced, then the children may think it is an easy option to get out of problems too. However, that may not always be the case. We do not have to follow the trend of divorce, we can make the family work. 

"Such is the human journey: struggles, challenges, but just enough strawberries to make life worth living. "

When you get married, cleave unto your spouse. The man should not turn to his dude friends, and the woman should not turn to her mother. Do not build your family around the children, because you and your spouse come first. A mother and a father need to work together, then they are able to provide for their children's needs.  

Growing up, we leaned on our parents for support. Now going off on our own, we become independent. When we become independent we learn to fully lean on each other; trust. Because we are willing to lean on each other, we become stronger, and make it to the end. The picture to the right shows two people leaning on each other for support on this ropes course to make it across together. It can be scary at times, but the end result is worth it. 

This is my last blog post for this class. I just want to say how much I have enjoyed this class. I have learned so much, and there are things I have taken away that I am super excited to apply in my life right now, as well as for my future family. To those of you who have been reading my blog posts, I hope you were able to learn and grow. I hope that this information will help you right now, and in times when you need help. I am a firm believer in families, and I know that families are together forever.